Just when I thought I was a savvy Bostonian...

Yes, it's true. After living in Boston for four and a half years, I've fallen under the illusion that I fit in here, that people don't look at me and immediately assume that I'm from out of town. I've learned my way around most of the major neighborhoods, I can get from point A to point B on the T (short for MBTA, the public transportation system), and I can maintain my balance on the trains when they lurch forward or stop quickly. This month I've become one of the masses who commutes to work on the bus.

So. This morning I left my apartment and saw the bus stopped at a light just before the bus stop. I half walked, half jogged to the stop so that I'd get there in time, pleased with my luck at not having to wait in the cold for the somewhat unreliable #1 bus. I waited in line behind a girl who was paying her fare with cash, which entailed shoving her 3-times folded doller bill into the much-too-small slot, feeling somewhat smug that I could just swipe my pass and not hold anybody up. As usual, all the seats were taken, so I grabbed onto an overhead hold and prepared to stand for the short trip. Instead of holding onto the steel rail, I grabbed one of the cloth handles that hangs on the rail, because the actual rails are just tall enough so that I look a little ridiculous hanging onto them, almost as if I'm hanging from the monkey bars. Plus, the rails are located directly above the knees of the people in the seats, so it's a little awkward to be standing practically in someone's lap. (It also leads to a sort of face-in-crotch situation.)

Anyway, the bus got across the bridge and had to stop for a red light, not a sudden stop or particularly jerky, but I wasn't paying any attention, so all of a sudden I was very quickly sliding toward the front of the bus. I was still hanging onto my cloth handle, which had the nerve to slide along the rail, and then instead of just sliding forward, I was sliding to the left, which meant that I started to swing uncontrollably in a giant circle. Turning, turning... I was completely off-balance and swinging in front of the seated passengers until some nice girl in the front of the bus grabbed my shoulders and stopped me from continuing to twirl like a merry-go-round. (I also ended up practically hanging in her lap, so maybe it was just self-defense.) While the bus was still stopped, I quickly let go of the offending cloth handle grabbed onto the (stationary) rail and planted my feet directly underneath me, secretly hoping I would disappear or the bus would swallow me up. Thankfully no one laughed, or at least they did it quietly enough so that I couldn't hear it, but man - when the bus stopped at MIT, I could not get off fast enough.