Questions

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying is the "most emailed" article today at the New York Times. What to do if the answer is, "We both aren't sure right now"? Where's the guarantee that you both will come to the same conclusion about that question after many years of marriage? I'm continually amazed at couples who stay happily married for their entire lives, because they've obviously mastered the trick of growing up and changing together. Maybe some of it's luck, but what's the rest of the secret? People change, develop different interests and hobbies, and come to expect different things from their partner, so it's easy to see how a couple could grow apart. Maybe that list should be titled "Questions Couples Should Ask Continually Throughout Their Marriage."

1. Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
2. Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3. Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4. Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5. Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6. Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7. Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8. Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9. Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10. Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11. Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12. What does my family do that annoys you?
13. Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14. If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15. Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

Christmas lights

Every year, the city of Boston puts up lights along the Commonwealth Avenue mall. This year, since we live right in Kenmore Square, I'm lucky enough to see it right out my window every night.


I also managed to catch a teeny-tiny sliver of the moon last night.


It's been feeling very un-Christmas-y over the past week or so though because the weather's been so warm. Not that I'm complaining, of course, but it's a little weird to be able to go running in shorts and a t-shirt in the middle of December.

I'm really looking forward to going home next week. My thesis advisor, on the other hand, wasn't overly excited to hear that I'll be out of town for two whole weeks. I'm not really planning to get a lot of work done while I'm at home, but it's amazing how unproductive December will end up being with my final project (completed and turned in yesterday), my final exam (coming up on Tuesday), and losing the last ten days to being out of town.

Oh well. I'm sure my thesis will be able to sufficiently ruin my life for the next 5 months, so why have it ruin the next two weeks?

In doing some online Christmas shopping tonight, I realized that I don't really have many hobbies anymore. At least, any hobbies that require purchasable stuff. I blame this on school. In many of my interviews over the past couple months, I've been asked how I feel about going back to school, continuing my education, etc. Obviously, the correct answer to this question is that I would always be open to getting more education, especially if it would benefit The Company and myself in my job.

Except... this is absolutely the worst time of the year to ask a student how they feel about continuing their education. I have to bite my tongue to stop from yelling, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??" When faced with all the final projects, extra reading, last problem sets, and final exams that this time of year has to offer, I just can't imagine subjecting myself to another round of school. And yet, somehow by the time the beginning of the next semester rolls around, choosing new classes always seems exciting again. "Ah, THIS semester I'll get all my work done on time, do the reading before class, never fall asleep in lecture, and ask lots of questions when I don't understand the material."

But that feeling usually lasts about two weeks.

Anyway, I also think my lack of interest in stuff outside of school has a lot to do with my eyes. A few months ago, I had lunch with a friend who had just gotten into kayaking - he was taking classes in the pool to learn how to safely roll a kayak, and he was spending most of his weekends on the water in Maine. He was also playing IM soccer, hockey, softball... As he was talking, I realized that I can't do any of those things right now because I'm wearing my glasses. Yeah, okay, I could get one of those uber cool rubber straps that goes around the back of my head to keep my glasses on while I ran around, but my eyesight isn't good enough to do any of those things without my contacts. And I still can't wear contacts for any real portion of the day (although it might be okay if I just had them in for a 90 minute soccer game). I haven't even been interested in doing any photography for the school paper since I stopped wearing contacts.

Around Thanksgiving, I made an appointment Josh's eye doctor because Josh and I were having similar eye symptoms, so I wanted to know if it could be from a virus or something else that we both had. The doc didn't think that was the case, but he spent almost an hour just talking with me and listening to my description of everything that's been happening since last March. He examined my eyes and tried to flip my eyelids inside out to check for giant papillary conjunctivitis (unsuccessfully, because I'm a big baby), and ultimately determined the following:

I probably had a mild case of GPC early last spring, and I also had a severe allergic reaction to an unknown something while I was in England. The unrelated medication that I was on taking up until the end of this September probably changed the pH of my skin (causing the weird acne I was getting) and of my eyes. Inflammation in the eyes, particularly if it's prolonged, can cause changes in the cornea, making it more difficult for the eyes to stay moisturized. The good news is that since it's been so long since I wore contacts on a regular basis, any GPC that I had is probably gone. It's also possible to help my eyes get better at keeping the moisture level up, by doing obvious things like drinking lots of water and washing my eyelids with very mild soap, and also by eating more foods that have omega-3 fatty acids. Fish are a big source of this, which is unfortunate since I hate fish, but flaxseed is also a decent source of these fatty acids. So I've diligently been eating my flaxseed every day.

I'm also supposed to lay off the coffee and soda, and get as much sleep as I can. So with that, good night.

Are you from Wisconsin?

Apparently my 18 years in the Midwest have only a marginal lead in my speech over my 6 years in the Northeast, at least according to this quiz.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Midland
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The South
The West
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I've started a bunch of posts over the past couple weeks and never got the chance to actually finish and post any of them, so now I'm writing one of those posts that's just, "Yes, I'm alive, just busy."

So, there it is. I'm still around, just crazily cramming everything in before the end of the semester next Wednesday. I've got one more project and one more final exam, then this stupid semester is finally done. It'll be nice to actually remember what I'm doing for my thesis after that. It's definitely gotten the short end of the stick recently.

My interview last Friday in Maryland went pretty well, I think. It was a 10 hour day, but it was worth it to talk with as many people as I could about their work. The majority of the groups that I interviewed with do missile work for the military, but I did manage to get an interview with the space group as well. I was expecting to be pretty ho-hum about the military work and really excited about the space stuff, but my actual response was the opposite. I did interview with the space group really late in the day, so I'm sure that was a factor, but it just didn't grab me like I thought it would. I was actually a lot more interested in some of the missile work, as well as the opportunities to travel and interface with some big names in Washington.

The tricky part is that now I have to rank my group choices for the HR department. Overall, the company would be a fantastic place to work (hello, $2 for $1 company 401(k) matching!), and I think I would be happy moving between several different groups over the next several years to try out many types of work. There's one group I could throw out, but that still leaves 5 for me to rank. And I have no idea.