Honesty

Yesterday I walked to the Boston Public Library to get a new library card and check out some books. I was browsing through the new books section, which is located around a bunch of tables where people can sit and read, when I overheard two guys talking to each other in voices a little louder than is probably appropriate for the library. While a few of us in the room probably grumbled internally about it, one woman, several tables over, stood up and shouted, "It'd be nice if you would shut the hell up so people can read!"

Ah, honesty. It's something that seems to get lost when people are separated by the walls of their cars and yards, but in my limited experience, it's more alive in a city like Boston where people are crowded together by the shared experience of public transportation and walking; a place where you can never be completely alone. Later, after I left the library and was back to walking the crowded streets in Back Bay, I passed a man who glanced over at me and said, "I like your hair." I rolled my eyes in a reflex reaction, but then I realized it wasn't a come-on or a fake compliment followed by, "spare some change?" Just plain words.

Often people say that residents of big cities are rude or unfriendly - they don't look at you when you pass them on the street, much less offer any kind of greeting. People in customer service-type jobs here are also less likely to give you a bright smile when you approach the register or ask a question. Yes, there are a few that are rude, but the majority are just being honest in their attitude - no fake enthusiasm.

It's funny how you can feel totally alone in a place where you're completely surrounded by people. Everyone's doing their own thing, living their own life; there's no need to interact with the strangers you encounter every day. But I think there's still a sense of comraderie - we're doing everything separately, but there are still those moments when you laugh with a complete stranger on the subway or when someone hands you the dollar bill that you just dropped on the street, and the conversation somehow seems more intimate, as though without all the normal small talk or big smile, you're getting a better glimpse of who that person actually is.