Yesterday my older sister, my mom, and I drove out to David's Bridal in Westland to get bridesmaids dresses for my cousin's wedding next month. Debbie choose the color azalea for our dresses but let each of us choose any style of dress in that color. Seems pretty flexible, right?
Wrong! Since the wedding is only a month away, the saleswoman told us that there wouldn't be enough time to order dresses, so we should both try to find something off the rack. The problem was that there's not much ON the rack in azalea (hot pink). So Katherine and I tried on a handful of dresses and vetoed everything because it was too big or too strapless (chests large enough to hold up such articles of clothing, unfortunately, do not run in our family). After we concluded that we'd have wear potato sacks to this wedding, the saleswoman reconsidered and thought that just maybe we'd have enough time to order dresses before September 16th. So we stuck with the styles we'd tried on that we liked but ordered them about 10 sizes smaller. So this is what I'll be wearing, as long as there's no ordering mixup. Then I'll have to pull out the pink potato sack.
Being in the store gave me a small glimpse of the stress and anxiety that can be caused by planning a wedding. The list of things that need to be written, bought, sent, arranged, and paid for seems endless, and the money is flying out of your hands faster than if you stacked up the dollar bills in front of an open window with a stiff breeze. Is there a point along the way where the process of creating the perfect day is more important than the fact that you're actually getting married? After watching a few friends go through this, it seemed like there was no way to plan a wedding that was both classy and inexpensive. So I began to think that maybe the best way really was to run off and elope - you eliminate the hassle of planning and can put the oodles of money that you or your parents don't really have toward buying a home or going on a nice honeymoon. After all, it's just one day. The marriage is what lasts forever.
I recently finished a book called A Walk Down the Aisle. It's about a couple who'd been living together for seven years before deciding to get married, and the author (the bride) talks about why she and her husband wanted to marry when it wouldn't have made any real change in their everyday lives. But although they already had a home together, they wanted to make the commitment to each other, in front of friends and family, to be together forever, not just while the relationship was easy or convenient. She also talked about how they struggled to decide which traditions to keep, which ones to toss, and how to create a wedding that felt honest and significant without being generic or cheesy.
So after reading the book, my cynical view began to soften a little. It's still just one day, but it's to celebrate a lifelong decision. And there are weddings I've been to that were classy and, I think, relatively inexpensive, so I guess there's still some hope that it can be done.
But I'd still rather spend the money on a trip than a dress.
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2 comments:
It depends on what you mean by inexpensive. Also on how many guests you are going to have, etc. But, I think you can do classy without breaking the budget too much.
Interestingly, one of the things that kept our costs down was that we had a destination wedding. Only the people really close to us were willing to commit to the trip to Jackson, Wyoming. There were a few people I wished had been there that didn't make it, but at least we didn't have to feel bad for not inviting a friend's roommate's mother's boyfriend. :P
I say go to Vegas. I hate weddings for all the reasons you posted, most people get too caught up in the wedding and not enough about the marriage. My wedding was beautiful and inexpensive and no there was no Elvis present. I can't imagine spending 18K+ on one day, I'm like you, I'd rather take a trip!
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