Can't sleep

My head is swirling and I can't shut it off. I don't know how to put it on a shelf for the night so that I can get some sleep. My mind is racing, but I can't focus on one thing long enough to understand it, to solve it.

I'm worried about everything. I'm worried about how I'm doing in my classes, I'm worried about my research. I'm worried that I won't graduate in time, I'm worried that I won't get a job. I'm worried that my eyes will never get better. "At least you have your health!" they always say. But I don't. It's not terrible, but it's always there, in the back of my mind, giving me an unsettled feeling that I haven't been able to shake, even when I can't always put my finger on it for a few seconds. Why do I feel weird? Oh yeah... that's right.

You should never go back to grad school after working full time, because when you work, you get tricked into believing that you have free time. How do I meet these people who say that grad school was the time of their lives? I do research all day and homework all night. A break for running, sometimes, and a break for dinner, maybe a whole day free on Saturday. I don't mean to complain because I think many students handle this better than I do. I'm not sure how they do it. I'm 24 years old and I make ten dollars an hour. I'm not looking forward to becoming a slave to corporate America, but at least then I can go on vacation.

My mom has a "critical mass" theory about stress - you can handle a certain number of things for a certain amount of time, but then just one more thing gets piled on top, and the whole thing comes tumbling down like a ton of bricks. Suddenly all the things you were so expertly juggling become debilitating.

My alarm clock is making crackling noises. I hope it doesn't die and/or explode in the middle of the night.